Distressing experiences

In attachment cry, you turn to the nearest human being and say, “See me! Hear me! Save me!” Many of the clients I work with as a psychologist have experienced developmental trauma, meaning neglect and abuse as children. In an earlier blog post, I wrote about Fight, flight, freeze or submit: Adult … [Read more...] about Attachment cry: When fight or flight have failed.

I worked with a middle-aged woman, named Brittany, that was experiencing chronic headaches and neck pain, as well as sensitivity to both light and sound, almost two years after receiving a concussion in a motor vehicle accident. … [Read more...] about After a concussion: Overcoming sensitivity to light and sound

People need to put their "scaffolding" in place as quickly as possible, both physically and emotionally, when they find themselves injured. Whatever the injury, when people are incapacitated and unable to look after themselves, the sooner they can erect the physical and emotional scaffolding they … [Read more...] about Injured? Put your supports in place

Dr. Jennifer Freyd, a Clinical Psychologist at the University of Oregon, spoke about the incidence of rape on university campuses at a trauma conference. She stated that approximately 20% of female university students will be vaginally raped on an American campus while completing a four-year degree. … [Read more...] about The incidence of rape on university campuses

I remember reading an excellent story about how parents can talk to their children when something bad happens. I want to re-tell that original story because it is powerful. I have told re-told it several times as a psychologist in my private practice. … [Read more...] about What to tell children when bad things happen

In a recent blog post, I wrote about fight, flight or freeze. These are our body’s hard-wired responses to danger and operate outside of our conscious control. They are invaluable to have when we find ourselves facing a grizzly bear on a trail, as I did two summers ago while hiking in Waterton … [Read more...] about Feigned death: An alternative to fight, flight or freeze responses

I attended an excellent lecture recently. The speaker explained how we can become emotionally hijacked and “head over the waterfalls” to behave in historically patterned ways, without any volitional thought whatsoever. … [Read more...] about Trauma: Emotional hijacking

It’s not an accident that the word “pain” is used to refer to both physical discomfort and emotional discomfort. The way I think about pain is that people will feel it physically if they don’t – or are unable to –  feel it emotionally. … [Read more...] about Physical and emotional pain are closely connected

Some people are not aware of their emotions. They cannot tell you if they are happy or sad. They may be laughing or crying, which you would think would help them to identify what they are feeling. They may even be yelling, which you would think would let them know that they are angry. But they can’t … [Read more...] about Dissociation: Some people lack emotional awareness

I often talk to my clients about the change process when they are frustrated that things in their lives are not changing fast enough. It’s hard to see change when you are in the middle of it. All you can see, much of the time, is how far you have to go rather than how far you’ve come. … [Read more...] about Do you keep falling in the same hole?