We know what others are feeling by looking directly into their eyes. Eyeball to eyeball, mirror neuron to mirror neuron, we experience the emotional state of another person when we look into their eyes.
[Read more...]Relationship problems
Posted:
Male survivors of domestic violence
In my private practice as a psychologist, I have worked with as many male survivors of domestic violence as female survivors. I find it baffling, based on this experience, that the fact that men are sometimes battered by women is not in the media at all.
[Read more...]Posted:
Insecure Attachment: How Well Were You Parented As A Child?
Some of my clients that I work with in my private practice have difficultly forming healthy relationships. These difficulties are the result of how their parents interacted with them when they were young. It’s not their fault that they struggle, but it is their responsibility to fix the problem.
[Read more...]Posted:
Give yourself the comfort that you need
A number of the clients I see in my practice did not have good enough parents. Their parents fell short of meeting the mark. In the absence of having good enough parents, when no other adult steps in to help the child, the child suffers. This failure is common enough in our society.
[Read more...]Posted:
Trauma your parents experienced invariably affects you
I often see evidence of trauma in the clients I work with. I will ask whether they experienced developmental trauma, meaning neglect and abuse during childhood. They will sometimes say no. This used to confuse me until I started asking whether their parents experienced trauma. This question frequently elicit stories. So will asking my clients […]
[Read more...]Posted:
Different roles people assume in relationships
I often discuss the roles that people can assume in relationships with my clients. As we talk about a relationship, we will sometimes do an exercise that can help them to develop new insights. Today, my plan is to share that exercise with you.
[Read more...]Posted:
How to celebrate adult birthdays
I have heard a lot about adult birthday celebrations. Sometimes there are surprise parties. Sometimes there are gifts. Cake often figures into it. Today, I would like to write about how some people get celebrating someone else’s birthday absolutely right. And how some people get it wrong.
[Read more...]Posted:
There are worse things than being single
A woman I knew once told me that she couldn’t imagine being single. Her name was Mary Ellen. She was married to a great guy named Stephen who loved her and treated her well. They both had successful careers and had just bought a house together.
[Read more...]Posted:
Relationships with sociopaths
I will sometimes meet a new client that is struggling to come to terms with the actions of a sociopath. The sociopath may be a member of their family — a husband or a father, for example. While the sociopaths in the following stories happen to be male, please be aware they can also be female. The prevalence […]
[Read more...]Posted:
Clarify your intentions: Say what you mean
It is not uncommon to hear from one of my clients that their relationship with their spouse or child or parent is in trouble. They may say they do not feel as close as they once did. They may say they no longer talk very much, and that they don’t know how to get the closeness […]
[Read more...]