I am asked by many of my clients for tips on how to unwind. They come to me for counselling in my psychology practice because they are overworked and often exhausted.
Many of my clients share that they sit down in front of the television at the end of a long day in order to relax before going to bed. Many recognize they do not feel any more relaxed when they stand up after watching Netflix than they did when they first sat down.
Research has documented that watching the television does not reduce stress levels. While the television can be a welcome distraction and can even be educational, it takes prevents people from engaging in effective stress relievers and can prolong the general hectic feelings that can develop in our everyday lives.
There are, however, a large number of activities that can reduce stress and help you unwind. Almost any activity will leave you feeling more relaxed than watching the television. These include going outside to weed the garden, preparing a meal, writing a letter, going for a bike ride, attending a yoga class, meditating, reading a book, playing the guitar, and hitting a bucket of golf balls.
Regardless of the activity you choose, you will experience a reduction in stress if the activity involves flow. By definition, flow can be achieved in any activity in which your attention is completely focused and you are challenged to perform at 10 percent above your current skill level. You will recognize you are in flow because you have a big smile on your face, and you have lost track of time. Have you ever found yourself checking your watch and wondering where the last 1.5 hours went? If so, then chances are high that you were in the state of flow.
If you aren’t challenged by the activity you select, it will not capture your attention strongly enough to get you into flow. If you are over-challenged, then you can feel overwhelmed and lose interest because you have become frustrated. But if the level of challenge is just right, chances are high that you will become absorbed in the activity and experience joy.
The concept of flow was coined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, PhD, a research psychologist who has authored many books on the study of happiness and creativity and the concept of flow.
As we discuss the topic of flow, my clients easily identify activities they do that bring on the state of flow. These include writing a work report, preparing to give a presentation, coaching a children’s soccer game, taking the dog to an obedience class, playing a pick-up game of basketball, and participating in an exercise class.
So, what should you do if you come home from work and don’t have enough energy to start an activity that will bring on a state of flow? If this is truly the case, you might consider going to bed early. As an experiment, you might want to get ready for bed and then lie down. As you get under the covers, give yourself permission to get up in 15 minutes if you haven’t fallen asleep. It’s okay if it’s only 7.30 pm or 8 pm. If you fall asleep, it means your body needed the rest more than it needed to watch the television. You will wake up feeling better than had you stayed up.
If you aren’t ready for bed but can’t give muster the energy to find someone creative to do, you might try totally eliminating all television watching from your life for three weeks. Unplug the tv, disconnect if from the internet, and put the remote control in the car so you can’t easily access it. And then be prepared to resist the urge to turn the tv on when you want to relax. You will be surprised at the activities you find yourself doing if you just stick with it. Putting on a pair of running shoes and heading out the door can help you connect with nature just by walking around the block.
After the three weeks are over, my clients report they are experiencing higher levels of happiness and are achieving flow more frequently. They also share they had no idea that the television was not helping them to relax and that they are committing to reducing the amount of viewing time they log. Many also share they are getting more sleep and have realized they need to go to bed at an earlier regular time.
— Dr. Patricia Turner, Registered Psychologist, Calgary, Alberta